Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
#161220 - 04/20/11 09:28 AM (138.163.106.72)
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DISCLAIMER
By popular demand, Neveron II: The Sequel is meant as a satire of the Neveron Universe and its player base. Players can expect to be lampooned, as any likeness to any possible living person will be very intentional. The situation you may find yourself being involved in is meant only for fun and should not be taken personally.
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#161221 - 04/20/11 09:43 AM (138.163.106.72)
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Prologe
The Neveron system is unique in the Inner Shere as it is the only place in the known galaxy that is home to loyalists from nearly every major and minor house ever colonized. Strangely enough, the Neveron system isn't even in the Inner Sphere, nor is it located in the Outer Sphere. Or any Sphere whatsoever. Some say it's located at 143rd and Main. Needless to say, no one can quite agree on how to get there from here.
Where ever here is.
Twenty years ago, the great Beverage War was fought all across Neveron. Chet and his forces came dangerously close to exacting revenge on his hate HoC enemies, awoke the sleeping giant that was the SoL Empire, and razed the FWLM National Forest to the ground (again). All thanks to an insidous drink known as Zima and the drunken skills of madman simply known everywhere as Peel.
In the end, it was a brassire and a random number generator that snatched victory from defeat for the HoC Alliance and dramatically changed the political landscape of Neveron forever.
And Chet never did find out where CRB Beer was being distributed from. It was a minor detail that really bugged him to no end.
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
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KJI_3x6
Lieutenant
Reged: 09/11/06
Posts: 650
Loc: Minnesota, North Korea
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#161222 - 04/20/11 03:46 PM (71.193.82.41)
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I wear hot pink thongs
Edited by ShadowMasterCM (04/21/11 12:55 PM)
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: KJI_3x6]
#161223 - 04/20/11 08:13 PM (70.181.172.204)
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CHAPTER ONE
THE CUBE OF RUBIK
Maghetti smiled as a company of heavy Manticore tanks rolled past him towards the staging area. If his plan could stay intact, he would gain control of this sector by the evening, and strengthen his overall position. He sighed. So much had changed in the last twenty years. After the Beverage war, the SoL Empire had rebelled, splitting into two entities. Maghetti rose to power rapidly and resurrected the Neveron Commonwealth. The mysterious Baroness managed to consolidate the remnants of SoL forces that remained loyal and an uneasy truce emerged due to the fear of a HoC attack on the two weakened nations. It was an attack that never happened.
Twenty years ago, SoL units had retreated in a panic from a daring counter attack on the flank of the HoC battle line, during the final climatic battle of the Beverage war. It took everything SoL military leaders had to organize a defensive line, and both sides were exhausted to the point that no further attacks were carried out on either side for the remainder of that final battle. And while it took months to sort out the mess in the SoL unit organization, the HoC Alliance military was in far worse shape. While its core units were still some of the most elite units in the system, there simply wasn't very many of them left. Thus, the threat of a HoC attack on anyone diminished rapidly. Within ten years, HoC military prowess was all but forgotten.
What people didn't count on was Hoppy. Primus of the Word of Blake, he had played very close attention to his hated HoC foes and the current events of the Neveron system. With the rapid rise of the NevCom factions, Hoppy quickly realized that if he wasted his strength attacking the remaining HoC forces, WoB wouldn't have the strength to resist the increasingly dangerous NevCom advances. So he did the only thing he could. He pulled back from the tiny HoC frontier and deployed along the NevCom border. The move cost him dearly, as someone poisoned his midnight snack of milk and cookies the day after the redeployment. In revenge, he sacked the entire WoB Dental Association.
With the Blakists rattling the proverbial saber, Maghetti had no choice but to also abandon his plans for revenge against the hated HoC foe. And then a monumental event happened that shook the entire core of Neveron's population.
A religious revival swept across the planet. Civil unrest rocked every major population center including the capital Neveron City, home of the Neveron Gaming Commission and other neutral institutions. What no one expected however was the destruction of the temples to the gods Randy and Wayward Son. When the dust settled, a startled Shadowmaster, formerly an employee of the now famous Peel Detection Unit (PDU), found himself installed as Neveron's new deity. Poor Shadowmaster nearly soiled himself when the first prayers for database stability and restoration of war functions burst into his head. It was a good thing he packed clean underwear.
Its tough being a living god.
Of course all of this had delayed Maghetti's plans. Not to mention the Baroness had somehow managed to sue him in Superior Court. How she managed that one was a mystery. So instead of hitting the WoB position in front of him, he had to dig out his suit and call his lawyer.
________________________________________
Gunner stalked into his office muttering curses about Randy under his breath. It had been years since Randy had used nuclear weapons against one of his holdings, and the scars never healed. Accusations flew and rumors abounded from that incident, however Gunner new the truth. He had proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that tacos did indeed make people happy. Randy unleashed his nuke program in revenge to prove that happiness was not required to worship him. Only a steady stream of tithing was wanted. Gunner was shattered. He complied with Randy's tithing demands, and then whipped the HoC Alliance into a frenzy that nearly conquered the entire planet. It was the Blakists who had finally stopped the HoC assault. Now that Randy was no longer a god, Gunner wondered who to sell battlemechs to. With NevCom and WoB forces facing off against each other, he smelled profit.
He had thought about rebuilding the HoC Alliance in order to strike back at HoC's enemies however there simply was not enough pilots to man the machines of war. The Beverage war had decimated the Alliance. Gone were the mighty regiments of the Genyosha and a multitude of HoC's smaller combat empires. Survivors were absorbed into the remaining reconstituted combat units. After everything was sorted out, the HoC military could only field forty percent of its original strength. So Gunner, along with other HoC leaders decided a more subtle approach to the new political landscape was needed. It was a far different approach compared to the past glory days when Eggy was in charge. Fortunately HoC's infamous marketing department provided the basis for a far more sinister financial approach to the current situation. Thus the HoC Alliance became one of the most successful weapons suppliers on the planet.
The question now was "how do we spend the money?"
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
Edited by Utopian (04/21/11 07:59 AM)
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buc
Captain
Reged: 08/12/05
Posts: 710
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#161287 - 05/02/11 11:26 PM (122.57.195.13)
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weeee!!!
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: buc]
#161353 - 05/12/11 07:38 PM (70.181.172.204)
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CHAPTER TWO
HONKIN ON A HOBO
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The wino peered out from under his cardboard box in the alley. Rain was falling steadily and there was a chill in the air. Like clockwork, the man he had been watching every Tuesday arrived on schedule, and just like usual, shook his head in amusement, then walked into the ornate doors of the most famous yet nondescript building on the entire planet. It was the headquarters of the Peel Detection Unit.
Markon shook the water off his overcoat, hung it up, and walked into Mattbuck’s office. He grabbed a cup of coffee as Mattbuck reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a deck of playing cards. This had become a weekly ritual that both men enjoyed, and had become the stuff of legends amongst the players of the Neveron Professional Poker Circuit.
Now while it was true that it was Mattbuck and Shadowmaster who held the record for most versions of poker ever invented, it was Mattbuck’s continuing single game of 5 card stud with Markon that had everyone in awe. Literally, entire fortunes had passed back and forth between the two men over a period of 20 years.
Which in itself was amazing as Mattbuck had never held a real job in his entire life.
It had started just after the signing of the Neveron Defense Accords, the now defunct and historic document that had almost brought peace to Neveron and had created the PDU. At the time, Mattbuck was scrambling to get the PDU operational, and everyone was worried that somehow, someway, Peel would change his mind and come back to Neveron. And in the midst of those confusing first days of the PDU, nobody had thought to pay Mattbuck or Shadowmaster. It was an annoying detail that still hasn’t been corrected after 20 years. But at the time, Mattbuck’s salvation turned out to be Markon, the only man on the planet who would listen.
And as the story goes, through some very suspicious and convoluted accounting practices, the PDU ended up being financed via Neveron’s seedy Red Light district.
As for Markon’s role in the PDU, originally he wasn’t part of it. Markon had retired as the FWLM’s leader and was happily enjoying his retirement as editor in chief of the “Neveron’s Hottest Mechwarrior Babes” calendar. Every year the calendar had sold out in record time and had earned Markon a hefty annual income. Then Markon decided to branch out. In a shrewd move, Markon aggressively gained majority control of Jigglevision™, Neveron’s Premier Adult Holovid Channel. Money began to pour in. And Markon rapidly became commonly known as Neveron’s own version of Hugh Hefner.
Of course Markon didn’t object. Would you?
Once Shadowmaster had been elevated to deity status, Markon had volunteered to help Mattbuck out at the PDU. So now, these two men stood guard over the entire planet, vainly attempting to find any trace of the most feared monster on the planet.
Never mind the fact that everyone on the planet wanted to kill each other. Who cares about the little stuff? Besides, most of the functions at the PDU were automated. And with nothing to do, poker became the cure for 20 years of boredom.
________________________________________
“Gimmie two” muttered Mattbuck as he did his best to keep a blank face. So far the pot had grown considerably with this hand. As Markon dealt the two cards, Mattbuck weighed his options. He was holding a ten, queen, and ace of spades. He had just discarded a two of clubs and a seven of diamonds. At best Mattbuck was hoping for at least a pair or two, which would give him something to bluff with, but for some reason, this wasn’t his day. Markon had him down a couple thousand C-Bills. And there was about a thousand in the pot. Mattbuck had a sinking feeling as he picked up his two cards and took a quick glance. A jack and king of spades. Hmmmm.
Wait a minute! Jack and king of spades?! That means….
It took everything Mattbuck had to suppress the urge to jump up and throw his cards in Markon’s face. A Royal Flush! The ultimate poker hand! And it’s MINE! Oh no….
Twice before, Mattbuck had held the ultimate poker hand. The first time, just as he was about to clean out his buddies in the Legion Alliance, news broke that Peel had left the planet for good. In the resulting chaos, every nation on Neveron threw the most massive party known to man and ordered out for tacos. Everyone was hung over for a week, the tacos never showed up, and no one believed Mattbuck had a royal flush. It was still a sore point between Mattbuck and the rest of Legion.
The second time Mattbuck held the elusive hand was twenty years ago in the old PDU building. That time he had Shadowmaster on the ropes. Literally the guy was down four thousand C-Bills and about to set him up on a date with his hot sister when a guy named Pete walked in and ruined the whole thing. Within 24 hours, Neveron had collapsed into chaos and the HoC Alliance was fighting for its life. Mattbuck hated that guy ever since and still has yet to get that phone number.
Markon saw Mattbuck’s facial expression change from unadulterated joy to ultimate despair. He was going to fold until he thought he saw Mattbuck start to almost cry. Then, he went all in.
There was an explosion outside and the room went black. In the dust and darkness, Markon swore he smelled mango. Could it be? It couldn’t be. Besides, Markon hated mango.
In the chaos and pandemonium outside, no one noticed the wino was no longer there.
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#161401 - 05/19/11 09:49 AM (138.163.106.72)
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CHAPTER THREE
LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT
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Hoppy stared silently at the situation map. Ever since the split between the old SoL loyalists and NevCom separatists, it had been apparent that border security was going to be an issue. With the rise of Maghetti as NevCom’s new leader, Hoppy literally had to play a game of political brinkmanship with this new opponent, a game that was so dangerous that it threatened war at any time. And now with NevCom units continually testing the borders, Hoppy had had enough.
But as with any political problem, there was of course, complications.
That complication was the Harbingers of Chaos. Gunner’s overt sales of battlemechs to smaller factions such as the Lyran Alliance and Legion had created a situation that Hoppy couldn’t ignore. With these smaller factions also pushing against the Word of Blake border, it became a simple matter of numbers. Hoppy simply didn’t have the strength to protect his entire border.
So what was he to do? Continue to face the main threat from Maghetti’s NevCom incursions or punish HoC by going after Gunner’s ‘mech production facilities? To make matters even more cluttered, Hoppy’s several diplomatic overtures to the mysterious SoL leader, the Barnoness, went unanswered. If he could just convince the SoL leadership to ratchet up the pressure on Maghetti, then Hoppy could turn on Gunner’s forces.
Then fortune paid him a visit. The explosions in Neveron City and several other major population centers created a crisis that put the entire system on alert.
Ever since the disappearance of Peel twenty years ago, paranoia had gripped the planet. The mere notion that Peel may or may not have been sighted had not only sparked several wars, but had people in the habit of shooting on suspicion of sight.
There was also the universal ban of mango across the entire planet. It was a mango scented gas that had caused so much havoc during the beverage war. Scientists had suspicions, however could not ascertain what that gas actually was or where it came from. But one thing was certain. It made a person susceptible to mind control.
And finally, there was the most insidious beverage known to man. Linked to outbreaks of metrosexuality, Zima had somehow been recreated from earth’s past, and released on a new generation of unsuspecting college undergrads. The consumption of which would cause consumers to feel “fabulous”, and then disappear.
And now these explosions across the planet had awakened something long forgotten in the back of Hoppy’s mind. A long abandoned sulfur spring.
________________________________________
His name was Chet. He was the second most hated villain on the planet, an inconsequential fact which continually bugged him to no end. No one remembers the second best, or the runner up; people always remember the guy who won. Or in this case Peel, the most dangerous person in the system. Which in this case was just too inconvenient for Chet to accept.
At the end of the Beverage war Chet had been captured, put on trail and sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labor at a super-super-super max facility administered by a coalition of empires. However, it was Eggy who burned the last of her political clout to have Chet instead sent to an abandoned sulfer spa, which was staffed by midgets and was alcohol free. While this was indeed supposed to be a cruel twist of the proverbial knife; the uproar from the other Neveron empires was enough to force Eggy’s permanent retirement.
So Chet had literally sat forgotten in the middle of nowhere, the only guest of a long forgotten spa. It was a mistake of biblical proportions.
Within days, Chet had convinced the diminutive staff at the spa that he was the most important man in the sector. Within a week, the entire staff swore its allegiance to him. In a month, he had turned them into a crack commando unit.
A crack commando unit of midgets. Sometimes, you just have to make do with what you have.
And then he patiently began to plan. Last week he put his plan into motion. Terrorism by mango.
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
Edited by Utopian (05/20/11 08:12 AM)
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mattbuck
Eeyore
Reged: 02/13/04
Posts: 3285
Loc: Nottingham, UK
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#161402 - 05/19/11 12:24 PM (95.148.187.194)
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Exxxxxxcellent.
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Haha, you people think admins still look at these forums.
Visit the Platonian! Updated! Stuff! Things! Click!
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: mattbuck]
#161417 - 05/20/11 02:14 PM (70.181.172.204)
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CHAPTER FOUR
HOW TO DEFEND YOURSELF FROM FRESH FRUIT
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Maghetti was late for his court appointment. He was literally bouncing from one crisis to another as he juggled his military, political and personal issues. Fortunately, he had just enough time this morning to oversee the placement of a newly formed regiment of armor on the WoB frontier, but Murphy and his law intervened. It turned out that several of that unit’s officers had shown either too much or too little initiative with their deployment orders and the unit had ended up on the wrong hill. It had taken Maghetti almost the entire morning to straighten it out.
Now running late, he could only hope his lawyer had been able to get a delay for today’s appearance. That Baroness was turning out to be a pain.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he saw a midget holding a pineapple.
Just as he stepped through the courthouse doors, there was a massive explosion. Maghetti was thrown through the metal detector and blacked out.
________________________________________
Totem had had enough of those pesky NevCom troops. Every day they pushed the border and he swore they would sneak out in the middle of the night and move the border markers a foot or two ahead. During the day, they would parade their tanks back and forth in full view of his defenses and it had taken every fiber of his being to not order his troops to open fire.
Seriously, those guys were just flaunting it now.
Totem had risen through the ranks by demonstrating solid soldiering skills and he had the reputation for being extremely level headed under fire. These traits earned him the command of the 148th Division, which consisted of three regiments of battlemechs and mixed armor.
But in the last ten minutes everything seemed to go crazy. The NevCom troops were now running around like it was the end of the world, and there was just a report over his command net that Hoppy’s headquarters had just been bombed by a midget wielding a banana.
Wait a minute. A midget wielding a banana? Nah, I must have heard that wrong.
Suddenly explosions rocked his position. The NevCom troops had opened fire. War had just broken out. Totem was ready. He ordered all units to open fire.
He frowned. A banana?
________________________________________
Maghetti gradually regained consciousness. Sitting up, he did a quick mental inventory just to make sure all his bits and pieces were where they were supposed to be, which they were. He breathed a sigh of relief, and then noticed he was covered in dust and grime. “There goes my good suit” he muttered under his breath.
Regaining his feet, he steadied himself and called his headquarters on his communicator. There was confusion on the other end of the line. When he was finally able to figure out what his confused staff was telling him, he ran for his car. What did those idiots do? The Blakists had just crossed the frontier. The NevCom army was falling back in confusion.
He never noticed the wino watching him from the shadows.
Edited by Utopian (05/20/11 02:16 PM)
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cbtgod
Lieutenant Colonel
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 1813
Loc: IN A BOX UNDER A HOUSE
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#161420 - 05/21/11 06:00 AM (173.171.168.13)
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omfg lmfao......l8rs DABOSS
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yes its a toad, if you didnt know that you dont know anything about cbt
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Chetter
Lieutenant
Reged: 08/20/02
Posts: 446
Loc: New Hampshire
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: cbtgod]
#161444 - 05/24/11 07:29 AM (24.97.170.18)
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I love it. Good work
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Katrar
Major
Reged: 09/15/02
Posts: 1314
Loc: Seattle, WA USA, Terra
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Chetter]
#161446 - 05/24/11 07:54 AM (76.28.186.150)
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lol good stuff Utopian, hopefully more to read soon. =)
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HoC Gaming - Come war with us!
The HoC Archive - Neveron's definitive historical document
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Katrar]
#161767 - 06/30/11 11:50 AM (138.163.0.43)
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CHAPTER FIVE
FOOD FIGHT!
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Prinz enjoyed a reputation as both a skilled instructor and able field commander with the HoC chain of command and with many of the empires scattered across Neveron. However, he frequently found himself at odds with Gunner. Not over any political ideology or strategic standpoint, but over food. While Gunner insisted that tacos were the key to happiness, Prinz argued it was pie that the people wanted.
And in this case, a nice banana crème pie, which he had just purchased downtown.
Turning south, Prinz headed back to his flat on 143rd street, thoroughly enjoying the scent of his fresh baked pie. At that moment, his comm link started beeping. Annoyed, he silenced the alarm and turned his thoughts back to his pie. While he was wondering if he should save some of it for tomorrow, his comm link beeped at him again. “What’s so damn important” he muttered under his breath as at the same moment he nearly collided with what he thought was a ten year old.
Frustrated, Prinz growled “Excuse me” and tried to step around the kid. The kid stepped into his path. Now the kid had Prinz’s complete attention. Only it wasn’t a kid. It was a midget. A midget wielding a passion fruit and wearing an evil grin.
Realization dawned on Prinz’s face as the midget closed with the passion fruit. For the average untrained person, when confronted by an attacker one is not mentally prepared for, that person will tend to flee from the danger instead of confronting it. In Prinz’s case, the sheer ridiculousness of the situation caught him off guard. Reacting in self preservation Prinz could only do one thing to get away. His banana crème pie became a weapon. He flattened the midget with a pie in the face.
Prinz was pissed as he beat a hasty retreat.
He was really looking forward to enjoying that pie.
________________________________________
In the ensuing chaos of what became commonly known Chet’s “Terror by Fresh Fruit” campaign, empires across Neveron once again smelled opportunity and attacked their neighbors. While much of the focus centered on the conflict between NevCom and Word of Blake forces, the crippling attacks inflicted on the HoC Alliance by the Order of the Terran Knights and its allies were just as important in shaping future events at the beginning of this new war.
And in the chaos of the shattered WoB headquarters, no one really cared when Chet seemingly appeared from nowhere and retook command of his former empire. Totem didn’t object to the power grab at the time as he had two NevCom divisions that he was tangling with and Hoppy couldn’t protest either, as he was in a coma and had a banana sticking out his ear.
On the bright side, the doctor said the banana in the ear trick worked wonders for keeping zombies away. Of course the doctor’s staff had him committed five minutes later.
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#161965 - 08/04/11 08:30 AM (138.163.0.42)
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CHAPTER SIX
DIE POND SCUM!
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Chet was savoring the moment. Finally he reclaimed his rightful place as Primus of Word of Blake. Now all he had to do was some minor housekeeping and consolidate control over his army, which at the moment was slugging it out with NevCom forces. There was of course one small hitch. Totem. Chet was unsure how he would react to the situation. “Should I eliminate him, or assimilate him?” he thought as he wandered around his shattered throne room. But then again, the front lines were holding and he was a wee bit hungry. Chet made his decision and quickly called for his maid and ordered out for tacos.
The thought of which made him very happy indeed.
________________________________________
Far beyond the front lines and hidden away on the edge of the Free Worlds League National Forest and Word of Blake border laid a heavily camouflaged warehouse which also was the most heavily guarded building on the planet. The only person who knows of its contents was now laying in a coma with a banana sticking out his ear.
This is where the plot complication actually begins. So pay close attention.
The very large and very heavily armed guard had just made his latest round of the building. Beside some seriously thick underbrush and the cacophony of insects, nothing was happening as usual. His mind wandered as rumors were flying about some sort of series of terrorist attacks.
The bushes two feet to his left rustled. “Probably another varmint” he muttered as he stepped in closer to kick at the underbrush. Suddenly a thought popped into his head. “Wait, that’s on the wrong side of the fence” as he looked down and saw the tip on a shoe. He froze. There was a loud belch.
The guard was no longer there.
________________________________________
Inside the warehouse, the watch supervisor was sitting back in his chair with his feet up on the desk reading the latest issue of the highly controversial boobie magazine, Nevbabes. (a product of Markon Publishing, Inc.) Surrounding him was a multitude of video monitors each covering every possible angle of the only hallway in the building and the heavy steel door at the end of it. Also at his control was the trigger that controlled twin heavy machine guns mounted in the false ceiling every 20 feet for the entire length of the 200 foot corridor. No intruder could possibly make it to the door at the end of the hall let alone survive the first ten feet after entering this deadly hallway. Motion sensors littered the hallway and at as a final defense, the door at the end required a ten digit numerical code in order to open.
No one at the facility knew what was behind the door, but everyone agreed no one would ever reach the door.
The Watch Supervisor chuckled as he read one of the jokes on the back of the centerfold and then froze in horror. The door to the vault was open. On the hallway floor lay a random number generator.
Seconds later, the building shook as a series of explosions ripped it apart from the inside. Once the dust began to settle a massive figure stood up from the rubble. The surviving guards said it was a battlemech. It fired a laser into the Free Worlds Side of the forest and plunged into the woods toward the front.
Communications were destroyed and the FWLM National Forest was on fire again. The surviving senior guard member sighed.
Oh void. Not again.
________________________________________
Totem was just plain tired. For the last 48 hours he had been expertly blunting every attack made by the advancing NevCom forces. While losses had been heavy, reports showed that his men had mauled three regiments of battlemechs and armor so far. But Totem had a decision to make. Stay put and hope for relief, or pull back to a more defensible position? After considering the alternatives, and contemplating the lack of intelligence on the enemy, Totem decided it would be best to pull back.
He gave the order.
Now, he needed to take a quick trip over to the field hospital to check on his men. He jumped into his jeep and his shapely aide stomped on the accelerator. Totem smirked. Miss July is my aide and driver. It’s good to be the king.
________________________________________
At the hospital, something wasn’t right. It started when a nurse noticed that her equipment seemed to be malfunctioning. The patient was a gas victim who smelled pleasantly of mango. This alone had a soothing effect on everyone near him. And because of it, the hospital staff was relaxed and performing triage at peak efficiency. That’s when it happened. The victim’s equipment alarmed out, showing that the patient had flat lined. Rushing in, the startled nurse took note that the patient was actually sitting up and feeling just fine, thank you very much. She immediately started checking leads and connections attached to the patient. Nothing seemed apparently wrong. So she turn to reset the monitor. Suddenly, the mango scent became almost overpowering. She turned around.
She screamed.
________________________________________
Totem’s jeep arrived at the hospital to the sight of complete chaos. It looked like someone had bombed the place. Quickly, both Totem and his aide jumped out and rushed to the tent in order to help.
They walked into total carnage. Bodies lay everywhere. But something was amiss. Across the tent was a doctor bent over a patient. Quickly, Totem went towards him in order to find out what had happened. Then he froze. The smell of mango was almost overpowering. He began to cough. The doctor spun around. Totem stared in horror.
It wasn’t a doctor.
A dozen zombies burst through the flaps of the tent, running straight at Totem and his aide. They pounced on her first. Totem ran for the jeep.
Great. The Zombie Apocalypse. Now improved with fresh mango scent. What next? A singing, dancing mouse with his own amusement park?
Totem jumped into the driver’s seat of his still running jeep and floored it.
“This just isn’t my day” he thought.
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
Edited by Utopian (08/04/11 05:14 PM)
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buc
Captain
Reged: 08/12/05
Posts: 710
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#161968 - 08/04/11 03:12 PM (222.155.171.38)
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weeeeeeee
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: buc]
#162323 - 10/20/11 01:25 PM (138.163.0.41)
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CHAPTER SEVEN
QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT…….GIRL?
________________________________________
Totem slammed on the breaks and skidded to a stop next to his command tent. The entire camp had erupted into chaos with the news of the zombie apocalypse. It was something that Totem still had a hard time swallowing. Good grief!
For ages, nerds and geeks across humanity had debated the origins and survival methods of the zombie apocalypse. Entire volumes had been written on the subject, and you had to admit, what subject was better to debate over beer and pretzels? Now it appeared to be happening. And everyone was doing the one and only thing a normal person would do in this situation. Sit there dumbfounded.
I mean, really? Are you serious? A zombie outbreak? Here? Are you mental?
Desperate for information, newspaper reporters across Neveron turned on their holovid sets. Holovid reporters grabbed for newspapers. Someone had the audacity to call Markon at the PDU to ask if there was going to be a bikini calendar of the crisis. Fuming, Markon told the guy to shove it. But then he had a thought and secretly called his best photographer.
Zombie chicks in bikini’s? Markon smelled profit.
________________________________________
Maghetti was infuriated. He had just got back from another frustrating litigation meeting with the Baroness’s legal staff when pandemonium erupted. He finally had those Wobbie bastards to the point of breaking and then his entire front shattered. In a rage he demanded to know who the incompetent fool was that let it fall apart, and then dashed outside when the first groups of panicked men started to stream past.
Desperately he pleaded with his men to turn and rally, but those pleas fell on deaf ears. Then, over by the tree line, there was a scream. Much to Maghetti’s horror, he saw dozens of men trying to run out from the woods, only to be dragged back in. Then, the attackers started to appear. Something was strange about them. Wait a tic! Are those…..
“ZOMBIES! RUN FOR YOU LIVES!” Shouted a trooper as he ran past Maghetti.
“Well, that settles that question” Maghetti muttered as he drew his sidearm and beat a hasty retreat.
Now he had to remember where he stashed his Zombie plan.
And say, do you smell mango?
________________________________________
Totem and his staff had been lucky enough to find a good piece of defensible ground and were working at a furious pace to get some semblance of order back with his shattered units. Reconnaissance over-flights showed that a huge pocket of zombies had not only pushed the Blakists back, but it had also sent the NevCon forces fleeing as well.
Information was hard to come by, but it didn’t take long to figure out that not only did these “zombies” not follow the traditional Romero rules but would also seem to appear shortly after someone smelled mango. This just didn’t add up to Totem.
Then the answer walked through the door of his headquarters truck. It was his aide, Miss July. Although he nose was heavily bandaged, she looked amazing. One of the communication specialists couldn’t help herself. “Oh my god, where did you get those shoes! I love them!”
A literal light bulb turned on above Totem’s head. Before he could even ask the question, his aide said “Nope, not zombies. Just gay guys with an obsession with making everything over”
Totem sighed. This is ridiculous.
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
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wonko
Sergeant Major
Reged: 03/08/06
Posts: 273
Loc: park city UT
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#162325 - 10/21/11 05:22 AM (76.23.60.40)
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more please!!!!!
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Democrats are the root of all evil
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: wonko]
#162346 - 10/24/11 11:09 AM (138.163.0.42)
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CHAPTER EIGHT
ROMNEYCARE, OBAMACARE, WAIT……CHETTERCARE?
________________________________________
This was really getting out of hand. While Chet was ecstatic that every military unit from every empire on Neveron was routing, he was also rather peeved that he couldn’t quite seem to control his ever rapidly growing army of fashion consultants. There was also the annoying problem of the alarming amount of plastic surgeons that had suddenly started showing up out of nowhere.
At this rate, it was going to be easier to get a nose job than to get an appointment to get your runny nose looked at. Chet put that one on his mental “to-do” list.
Refocusing, Chet sat down and started scanning the latest reports on his covert takeover. Everything seemed to be going according to plan when he came across a message reporting the Free World’s League Nation Forest was burning again. Funny how Peel always started those fires.
Wait. Peel?
No, it wasn’t possible. Or was it? And if it was, how do I turn this to my advantage? Quickly, Chet called for his assistant and ordered several reconnaissance units into the area. If Peel was indeed out there, then the situation was going to get real expensive, real quick.
Then, Chet called his insurance agent to verify his premiums had been paid up, just to be on the safe side.
________________________________________
Katrar led the remnants of his assault company out of the treeline and into the foggy mist covering the field to his south. When several OTK units had crossed the HoC frontier, Katrar was leading a training mission nearby. Heavily outnumbered, his company had decimated almost a battalion’s worth of light tanks and fast battlemechs, forcing the attackers to withdraw.
Flushed with success, Katrar’s troopers bivouacked to rest and refit for the next day’s action. The problem was, as night fell, the fog had rolled in carrying a soothing mango scent. What happened next was a nightmare. Only Katrar and two other pilots managed to escape, as they were in their battlemech cockpits running system checks when the fashion crazed horrors burst into the camp.
Once daylight broke, he lead his two surviving troopers southward, in an attempt to reach their base. To make matters worse, there seemed to be a communications breakdown. Katrar knew he had to think fast and plan for the worst.
His 85 ton Battlemaster's sensors detected an unknown contact off to his right at three thousand meters, well beyond the range of mech’s Particle Projection Cannon. Just to be safe he ordered two remaining troopers to close ranks in order to confront the unknown threat with overwhelming firepower.
It was a move that proved pointless.
In one moment, the 80 ton Awesome had just moved into position when in the next moment it was laying on its back with both massive legs completely severed. The complete shock of the attack was too much for Katrar to comprehend. Seconds later, the remaining battlemech, a 55 ton Wolverine , was a smoldering wreck. Katrar was desperately scanning in every direction trying to figure out where the attack was coming from when his heads up display seemed to fail and every alarm started screaming for him to eject. Before he could even figure out what had happened next, he was suddenly floating gently to the ground in his parachute, as his Battlemaster’s computer had detected an engine breach and had ejected him from the cockpit.
Moments before Katrar was enveloped in the wet morning mist, he swore he saw a lone 20 ton Hornet racing past the remnants of his assault company.
In that one brief moment, Katrar had an epiphany. Holy crap!
This was going to be a nightmare of biblical proportions.
________________________________________
Mattbuck was grateful that Markon had stuck around since the bombing. Several emergency workers will still wrapping things up and there was rubble everywhere, but at least no one had been hurt in the blast.
One of the surprise visitors helping out was Pimpslap, who happened to be in town for a meeting with Shadowmaster. Pimp had finished his meeting and was on his way back to the hotel when the bombing
happened. He quickly ran to help.
Now he was helping to get the PDU back into some semblance of order. “So you’re telling me you actually had a royal flush? And you let Markon slide on that? Are you nuts? You should have taken him to the cleaners!”
Across the room, Markon had a ridiculous smirk on his face as Pimpslap was really having fun sticking it to Mattbuck. However Mattbuck wasn’t having it.
“Bugger off Pimp! Every time I’ve held that hand, some disaster has happened. I swear the universe is conspiring against me.” Markon was chuckling as he chimed in.
“It’s true you know. Shadowmaster told me that story a while ago. Although the way he tells it, it’s a lot funnier.”
“And I bet he failed to mention the part about his clean underwear.” Mattbuck retorted. That brought a round of laughter from everyone.
“Speaking of which…” Pimp said as he hefted a massive three ring binder with a package of new underwear attached to it from the rubble at his feet.
Markon chuckled at the sight of it. “That’s Shadowmaster’s old Emergency Operations book. We never did use that thing you know. Mattbuck’s P-Ball program automated the last warning twenty years ago.”
“I didn’t know that” Pimp replied. “Everything is automated then?”
“Absolutely.” Mattbuck said. “Why use that dinosaur when I can simply transmit a warning with a stroke of the keyboard? Besides, once the alarm light starts flashing red, everything becomes automatic.”
Pimpslap was pointing to a console behind Mattbuck. “You mean like that light right there?”
Mattbuck glanced over his shoulder. “Yep, that’s the one.”
Mattbuck froze. Markon stood gaping in shock. A thought formed in Mattbuck’s brain. Then it promptly panicked.
The emergency transmission computer was smashed. The warning wasn’t transmitting.
Peel had been spotted and there was no way to tell the world.
Suddenly, everyone needed clean underwear.
--------------------
Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
Edited by Utopian (10/24/11 11:57 AM)
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Katrar
Major
Reged: 09/15/02
Posts: 1314
Loc: Seattle, WA USA, Terra
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#162359 - 10/25/11 12:44 AM (76.28.186.150)
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lol good stuff Utopian, keep it up!
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HoC Gaming - Come war with us!
The HoC Archive - Neveron's definitive historical document
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buc
Captain
Reged: 08/12/05
Posts: 710
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Katrar]
#162368 - 10/25/11 07:30 PM (210.86.1.168)
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haha Kato got his mech blown up... typical :P
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mattbuck
Eeyore
Reged: 02/13/04
Posts: 3285
Loc: Nottingham, UK
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: buc]
#162380 - 10/26/11 05:24 PM (95.148.186.40)
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In my experience it's Patryn who gets mechs blown up. Usually ones he borrowed.
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Haha, you people think admins still look at these forums.
Visit the Platonian! Updated! Stuff! Things! Click!
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wonko
Sergeant Major
Reged: 03/08/06
Posts: 273
Loc: park city UT
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: mattbuck]
#162413 - 11/01/11 02:03 AM (76.23.60.40)
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bump
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Democrats are the root of all evil
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: wonko]
#162417 - 11/03/11 12:41 PM (138.163.0.41)
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CHAPTER NINE
LICENSE AND REGISTRATION PLEASE
________________________________________
Gunner and Prinz were arguing over the merits of tacos and pie again when the door opened and Katrar limped in and gingerly sat down. Injured in the ejection from his battlemech, he had managed to survive out in the open and make his way back to base, only to find it had been overrun by the walking fabulous. Nauseated from the smell of mango, Katrar still managed to sneak into the garage, hotwire a hover truck, and made a break for freedom. Once away from immediate danger, he radioed for help and was rescued a short time later. After the medics had patched him up, Katrar made his report.
It sent shockwaves through the HoC chain of command.
Because of the disruptions to the communication grid caused by the terror attacks, the only members of the HoC command available were Gunner, and Buc. Prinz was considered a consultant and was invited to the emergency meeting.
Once Katrar sat down, Buc got started.
“Katrar, are you sure it was Peel?”
“Absolutely. My mechs weren’t damaged enough for a piece of crap Hornet to take down, let alone in 30 seconds.” The anger and frustration he was feeling was plainly obvious in his tone of voice.
“What about your recorders?” Gunner asked. “They should be able to confirm what you saw.”
“The area is overrun. There’s no way to get a team in to recover it right now.” Katrar said with a scowl. “Besides, if Peel is still in the area, then it will be too dangerous for any recovery mission. We’ll have to wait for the next confirmed sighting before we attempt to recover it.”
“I would agree with that” Prinz said. “But there’s something more important we need to worry about here.”
Puzzled, Buc turned to Prinz. “What’s that?”
“No matter if it is Peel or not, the question really is how to beat him if he is out there”
Everyone groaned. How to do it indeed.
Buc excused himself and headed out to the latrine. He always did his best thinking on the pot anyways.
________________________________________
One after another, those factions who feared a HoC attack began to pledge their allegiance to Chet and his Blakists. With NevCom forces falling back, it was the break Chet needed to consolidate his power and appeal to former allies to rejoin his cause. The Lyran Alliance and the Order of the Terran Knights were the first to sign mutual defense treaties with the Word of Blake. And much to Chet’s surprise, the Baroness contacted him about sharing intelligence against the diminished HoC empire.
But Chet still had one tiny little problem he had to deal with. Totem.
Totem had finally picked up an old message that said Chet had taken over. He slumped. It explained everything. The mango, the walking fabulous, even his aide’s nose job. Then to make matters even more worse, he read the next report about how the Free World League National Forest was on fire again.
Funny how Peel……
Totem froze in sheer horror. The final piece of this nightmare had fallen into place. Totem immediately ordered his battered units to withdraw to a supply depot fifty kilometers further away from the front to refit, then he ordered a whiskey.
Might as well get drunk, we’re all screwed now!
________________________________________
Gunner, Katrar, and Prinz were watching old holofilms from the First Beverage War trying to find some way or some weakness to use or exploit against Peel in the field. The command staff kept bringing in every file they could find on the war, including the unconfirmed reports. There had to be a clue somewhere.
There was a ripple in the mug of coffee in front of Gunner as a barely audible “thud” echoed into the room. No one noticed that it was getting stronger until Gunner reached for his coffee and saw that it was nearly sloshing over the rim.
“What in Blake’s name..” Gunner muttered as he motioned to Katrar to cut the sound from the holovid.
Everyone in the room heard the deafening crunch of several parked mechs collapsing outside as the far wall of the briefing room collapsed. Stunned, they could only gape as they watched a 20 ton Hornet stagger across the compound and then step on the latrine building. Then it stumbled off the northwest after punting a 25 ton Scorpion light tank over some power lines strung between two towers.
Gunner, Katrar, and Prinz were speechless. They turned their attention back to the ruined latrine. Sitting there on a toilet in broad daylight with his pants around his ankles sat Buc, completely unscathed.
“Guys” he beamed. “I have an idea.”
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Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
Edited by Utopian (11/03/11 12:53 PM)
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Utopian
Sergeant
Reged: 02/18/05
Posts: 147
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Re: Neveron II: The Sequel! or Can you get a Vaccination for Peel?
[Re: Utopian]
#163083 - 12/27/11 10:15 AM (138.163.0.43)
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CHAPTER TEN
PILOTING WHILE INTOXICATED?
________________________________________
Prinz could only hold his head in shame as the 20 ton Stinger staggered across the ferrocrete and fell flat on its faceplate. “Thank god were using training mechs instead of frontline units” he thought to himself as the Stinger tried in vain to regain its feet.
“Dammit Peel! How the hell do you do it?” Prinz shouted to no one in frustration. Seriously, this is just plain embarrassing.
The Stinger had stopped moving. Rescue crews moved in to extract its pilot while the salvage crew moved in to get the inert machine back on its feet. Fifty feet away, another pilot was getting ready to try to pilot the machine.
He stumbled and nearly fell. Prinz exploded in frustration. “Apples! Don’t you know how to tend bar? They need to be tipsy! Not pissed!”
Prinz was about to give up when behind him he heard a hiccup. He spun around. Standing there holding a Hot Pocket and a CRB beer stood Arkidda. He was obviously smashed.
“I hear you guys have a plan only a madman would come up with. Care for a unit of misfits to carry it out?”
Prinz suddenly felt like a drink. Hell, why not?
Neveron’s most dangerous lunatics had just offered to join the fight.
The Hot Pocket Cult was back.
God help us all.
________________________________________
When Totem had pulled further back in order to refit and reinforce, it had left a significant hole in the WoB/NevCom frontier. A hole that was too convenient for Maghetti to ignore. Within hours, he had managed to scrape together an ad-hoc battalion of tanks and sent them through the breach. However, finding another intact unit to exploit the hole was a more difficult task, thanks to the walking fabulous. Entire regiments had been gutted by the mass panic their emergence had caused. And the only way to fill the gaps was to take the reserves from the SoL frontier.
The thought of pulling those reserves made Maghetti uneasy. Being sandwiched between WoB to the west, SoL to the east, and HoC to the south was tough enough as it is. At least some of the smaller factions were hitting HoC territory from the south with WoB support. As long as Gunner’s forces were occupied, Maghetti felt he had a chance for some significant gains.
Of course the wildcard was the Baroness.
“Maybe I can slap her with an injunction or a restraining order in order to keep the SoL military machine at bay.” Maghetti said as he slipped into his 70 ton Archer’s command chair.
He chuckled. Wouldn’t that be something?
________________________________________
Chet was amused. While the report of Peel barreling through a HoC outpost brought a smile to his face, it was the follow up report about Buc and the latrine that had him in near hysterics. It took almost twenty minutes for him to calm down.
Composing himself, he turned to the business at hand. Totem’s withdrawal. It had left a massive hole in the front, and Maghetti’s forces were preparing to exploit it. Chet ordered three light battlemech regiments to advance and secure the front. Then he paused. The three regiments he had ordered in were composed mostly of 20 ton Hornets. Crap.
Turning to his aide, he said “Commander, has the ejection seat problem been resolved in the Hornet?”
“No sir” he replied. “The manufacturer has spent billions trying to find the cause of the problem without success.”
“Are the ejection seats still being produced from the old ACME plant?”
“Yes sir, they are. How did you know that?”
“Because it used to be a pop-up toaster factory. Peel secretly moved the ejection seat production line there over twenty years ago.”
Chet frowned. Then he ordered his reserves in as well.
--------------------
Neveron: A Story of Blood, Sweat and Beverages or: How I learned to stop worrying about Peel while enjoying my beer
http://mattbuck.irongalaxy.com/neveron/index.html
Edited by Utopian (12/27/11 10:18 AM)
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