starmaster
02/25/09 04:31 PM
74.180.19.153
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Definitions that you may not find in Webster's posted here
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:32 PM
74.180.19.153
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Blowing Your Buffer
Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Dang, I just blew my buffer!"
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:33 PM
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Gray Matter (noun)
Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:34 PM
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Bookmark
To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at Siggraph."
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:35 PM
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Nyetscape (noun)
Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:35 PM
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Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:36 PM
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Salmon Day
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:38 PM
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Love
The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:38 PM
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Stress
Confusion resulting from the mind overriding the body's natural desire to choke the living hell out of some jerk who desperately needs it.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:39 PM
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Deja Moo
The feeling that you've heard this bullcrap before.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:39 PM
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Pedestrian
A man with a car but he is married.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:39 PM
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FORD (Acronym)
Fix Or Repair Daily.
Alternate:
Found On Road Dead
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:40 PM
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Innuendo
An Italian suppository
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:40 PM
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Windows95 (noun)
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:41 PM
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Viagra (noun)
What you use when your peter backs out before your back peters out.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:41 PM
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AOL (acronym)
Another Old Link
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:41 PM
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Toaster (noun)
A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:42 PM
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Freudian Slip (noun)
A Freudian Slip is when you mean to say "Please pass the salt", but it comes out as "You dang biatch, you've ruined my life".
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:42 PM
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Auto Biography (noun)
The life story of a car.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:43 PM
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Joan of Arc (person)
Noah's wife.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:43 PM
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Blonde Jokes (noun)
Jokes that are short enough for a man to understand
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:43 PM
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Clothes Dryer (noun)
A household appliance designed to eat socks.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:43 PM
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Diet Coke (noun)
A drink you buy at the convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:46 PM
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Eternity (noun)
The last two minutes of a football game.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:46 PM
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Exercise (verb)
To walk up and down a mall. occasionally resting to make a purchase
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:47 PM
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Grocery List (noun)
A piece of paper you spent half an hour writing, and then forgot to take with you to the store.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:47 PM
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Hair Dresser (noun)
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician".
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:47 PM
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Hardware Store (noun)
Similar to a black hole in space. If he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:48 PM
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Lipstick (noun)
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth.
On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear!
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:48 PM
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Valentine's Day (noun)
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:49 PM
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Waterproof Mascara (noun)
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:50 PM
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Argument (noun)
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:51 PM
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Accountant (noun)
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:51 PM
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A Good Tax Accountant (noun)
Someone who has a loophole named after him.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:51 PM
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Auditor (noun)
Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:52 PM
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Experience (noun)
What you get when you don't read the manual first.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:52 PM
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Banana Problem (noun)
1. The situation that results when one is uncertain as to when a project is actually finished (and when, therefore, to stop revising it)
2. A condition sometimes afflicting Web sites, in which the Webmaster adds so many bells and whistles that the whole thing is a mess
"Banana problem" is of fairly recent vintage, but it's already turned up in the venerable New York Times.
According to the New Hacker's Dictionary, this handy expression refers to the old joke about a youngster who said, "I know how to spell 'banana' . . . but I don't know when to stop."
"No, Charlie, the site looks great, but I'm afraid if you insist on adding the Dancing Mahirs AND that 12-minute video clip of yourself playing ping-pong, we're going to have a real banana problem on our hands."
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:54 PM
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clue-by-four (noun)
A large, heavy, blunt object used to forcibly inject clues into those who have proven otherwise clue-resistant.
Sometimes this is done by inducing unconsciousness, thereby raising the clue level in a subject who was formerly negatively clued.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:54 PM
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Transvestite (noun)
A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:54 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Amnesia (noun)
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:55 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Dumbwaiter (noun)
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:55 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Family Planning (verb)
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:55 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Feedback (noun)
The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:56 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Full Name (noun)
What you call your child when you're mad at him.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:56 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Grandparents (noun)
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:56 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Hearsay (noun)
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:57 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Impregnable (noun)
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:57 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Independent (noun)
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:57 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Ow (noun)
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 04:58 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...
Puddle (noun)
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 05:01 PM
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Giraffiti
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 05:01 PM
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Sarchasm
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 05:01 PM
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Inoculatte
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 05:02 PM
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Hipatitis
Terminal coolness.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:38 PM
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Man
A remarkable animal whose head swells when you pat his back.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:38 PM
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Woman
Creature who acts nice to you because she doesn't like you, or mean, because she does.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:38 PM
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People
Some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:39 PM
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Swimming Pool
A mob of people with water in it.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:39 PM
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Self-Control
The ability to eat only one peanut.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:39 PM
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Salesman
A man with the ability to convince his wife that she would look fat in mink.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:39 PM
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Cannibal
Person who likes to see other people stewed.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:40 PM
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Egocentric
A person who believes he is everything you know you are.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:40 PM
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Foreign Film
Any movie shown in a Texas theater that isn't a western.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:40 PM
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Optimist
Girl who regards a bulge as a curve.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:41 PM
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Pessimist
Man who looks for a pink slip before the money in his pay envelope.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:41 PM
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Epitaph
A postponed compliment.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:41 PM
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Immigration
The sincerest form of flattery.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:42 PM
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Magazine
Bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:42 PM
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Miracle
Something that never happens in our generation.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:42 PM
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Clearasol
Effective sunspot remover.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:42 PM
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Gay Abandon
Homosexual repellent perfume.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:43 PM
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Jury
Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:43 PM
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Kodaclone
Duplicating film.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:43 PM
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Quarkbar
The candy with flavour and charm.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:43 PM
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Quasimoto
4 wheeled hard-top moped made in France.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:44 PM
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SQWERTY
Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:45 PM
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Trapezoid
A device for catching zoids.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:46 PM
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Frisbeetarianism
The belief that when you die, your soul goes up the on roof and gets stuck.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:46 PM
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Watchmaker
A man whose business it is to see that others have a good time.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:46 PM
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Armor
The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:47 PM
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Armistice
Proof that truce is stronger than friction.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:47 PM
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Astronomy
To look in the sky and see stars.
Astrology
To look up and see lions and virgins and other spooky creatures.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:47 PM
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Baby-sitter
Someone you hire to clean out the icebox.
Baby-sitter (expert)
One who can open the refrigerator door without waking the baby.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:48 PM
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Bachelor
A man who can take women or leave them -
and prefers to do both.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:48 PM
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Bacteria
The only culture many children are exposed to.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:48 PM
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Bargain
Something you cannot use, at a price you cannot resist.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:49 PM
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Barometer
An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:49 PM
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Battle
Where a whole lot of white men kill a few Indians.
Massacre
Where a whole lot of Indians kill a few white men.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:50 PM
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Bedroom
The place where most household accidents occur.
-Playboy
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:50 PM
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Benevolence
A natural instinct of the human mind; when A sees B in distress, his conscience always urges him to entreat C to help him.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:50 PM
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Prime Numbers
Hugh Hefner's phone book.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:51 PM
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Mushroom Management
Keep your employees in the dark and occasionally throw crap at them.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:51 PM
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Hemorrhage
An amount of blood loss which threatens the viability of the patient, and the composure of the attending physician.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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starmaster
02/25/09 07:52 PM
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Drug Bust
An unexpected narc at the door.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
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