Definitions that you may not find in Webster's

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starmaster
02/25/09 01:49 PM
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Waterproof Mascara (noun)

Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:50 PM
74.180.19.153

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Argument (noun)

A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:51 PM
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Accountant (noun)

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:51 PM
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A Good Tax Accountant (noun)

Someone who has a loophole named after him.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:51 PM
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Auditor (noun)

Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:52 PM
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Experience (noun)

What you get when you don't read the manual first.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:52 PM
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Banana Problem (noun)

1. The situation that results when one is uncertain as to when a project is actually finished (and when, therefore, to stop revising it)
2. A condition sometimes afflicting Web sites, in which the Webmaster adds so many bells and whistles that the whole thing is a mess

"Banana problem" is of fairly recent vintage, but it's already turned up in the venerable New York Times.

According to the New Hacker's Dictionary, this handy expression refers to the old joke about a youngster who said, "I know how to spell 'banana' . . . but I don't know when to stop."

"No, Charlie, the site looks great, but I'm afraid if you insist on adding the Dancing Mahirs AND that 12-minute video clip of yourself playing ping-pong, we're going to have a real banana problem on our hands."
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:54 PM
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clue-by-four (noun)

A large, heavy, blunt object used to forcibly inject clues into those who have proven otherwise clue-resistant.
Sometimes this is done by inducing unconsciousness, thereby raising the clue level in a subject who was formerly negatively clued.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:54 PM
74.180.19.153

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Transvestite (noun)

A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:54 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Amnesia (noun)

Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:55 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Dumbwaiter (noun)

One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:55 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Family Planning (verb)

The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:55 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Feedback (noun)

The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:56 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Full Name (noun)

What you call your child when you're mad at him.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:56 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Grandparents (noun)

The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 01:56 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Hearsay (noun)

What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:57 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Impregnable (noun)

A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:57 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Independent (noun)

How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:57 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Ow (noun)

The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
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starmaster
02/25/09 01:58 PM
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From Mom's Dictionary...


Puddle (noun)

A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
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starmaster
02/25/09 02:01 PM
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Giraffiti

Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 02:01 PM
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Sarchasm

The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
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starmaster
02/25/09 02:01 PM
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Inoculatte

To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 02:02 PM
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Hipatitis

Terminal coolness.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 04:38 PM
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Man

A remarkable animal whose head swells when you pat his back.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 04:38 PM
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Woman

Creature who acts nice to you because she doesn't like you, or mean, because she does.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 04:38 PM
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People

Some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 04:39 PM
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Swimming Pool

A mob of people with water in it.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 04:39 PM
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Self-Control

The ability to eat only one peanut.
a journey of a 1000 lightyears begins with the first command- starmaster
starmaster
02/25/09 04:39 PM
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Salesman

A man with the ability to convince his wife that she would look fat in mink.
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