Courtesy of Eldoniousrex
“How… how is she so… old?”
Star Captain Jimigan sighed. This question had consistently led down a circular path that began with him signing a request for a new recruit to be assigned to the 93rd BattleMech Cluster’s Third Trinary. MechWarrior Sinyan was the fourth, and he desperately wanted to avoid another unnecessary fatality.
“Star Commander Danalith has been with the Cluster since I exited my sibko,” Jimigan explained. “We believe she may be the oldest MechWarrior still serving in Clan space. She is somewhat affectionately referred to as ‘Grandmother.'”
“‘Grandmother’?” Sinyan raised an eyebrow at the decrepit woman who was seemingly oblivious to the conversation taking place not six meters in front of her. She simply sat on her chair, heavy brows obscuring her eyes such that Sinyan couldn’t tell if she were even awake. “She’d be long sent to a solahma Cluster if she were not favored by the Star Colonel, quiaff?”
“Neg, she receives no preferential treatment. She regularly trials for her position and continues to defeat all foes.” Jimigan stressed the word ‘defeat’ to hopefully dissuade the young MechWarrior from challenging Grandmother, but he could already see the mental wheels turning. For most young, brash MechWarriors, being assigned to a Star where the Commander was clearly past her prime was an opportunity for advancement.
“Be that as it may, Star Captain, she is clearly too old to serve the Clan. I challenge her to a Trial of Position for the rank of Star Commander.”
Oh no. It’s happening again, thought Jimigan with another sigh. He couldn’t let this escalate to a Circle of Equals. “Unfortunately, our Trial schedule is full today, perhaps you could challenge Grandmother after we return from our live fire exercise—”
“Neg, Star Captain,” Sinyan replied with a sneer. “She is likely to drop dead before then. I am merely accelerating her replacement.”
“I would advise against this, Sinyan, she has never—” but once again Star Captain Jimigan was interrupted. Not by the foolish young MechWarrior in front of him, but by the withered arm that held up a hand firmly to forestall any further excuses on her behalf. Without saying a word, Grandmother had spoken.
“Fine,” Jimigan said, already lamenting the paperwork he’d be required to perform this evening. “I will see you both on the firing range in ten minutes.”
The trial was over in less time than it took Grandmother to ascend the ladder into her ancient Corvis, perhaps the only thing on base older than she was. Despite Sinyan’s faster, heavier, and more powerfully-armed Balius OmniMech, he was simply no match for Grandmother. With three precise strikes from her Ultra AC/10, Grandmother disabled both the Balius‘s front legs, and then a fourth tore into the ‘Mech’s horse-like head.
Lucky for Jimigan, MechWarrior Sinyan survived the Trial, but not without severe injuries. He’d be back on the active duty roster after the scientists budded him a new left eye and he learned to use his new prosthetic right arm.
That evening, Star Captain Jimigan went to visit Grandmother in her stateroom to thank her for not killing yet another young upstart. “I appreciate your restraint today, Grandmother. The Clan cannot afford to lose too many promising MechWarriors.”
Grandmother nodded in satisfaction but said nothing. This didn’t concern Jimigan as Grandmother rarely spoke but to express information of the utmost importance.
“Sinyan should return to your Star after several weeks of therapy for his new arm.” Grandmother frowned a frightful expression that Jimigan had never seen before. “You object to his medical treatment?”
Grandmother shook her head, then raised her hand and curled a gnarled finger, imploring Jimigan to bring himself closer. Once he was close enough to make out Grandmother’s eyes from beneath her heavy lids, he heard her whisper the last words she’d ever speak.
“I was aiming for his balls.” Then, she died.
Unlike the Inner Sphere, which will happily produce, repair, and iterate on ‘Mechs that are centuries old, the Clans will often abandon old designs once the new and improved become widely available. The story of the Corvis is the tale of an old BattleMech relegated once a better OmniMech arrived.
Indelibly associated with Clan Hell’s Horses, The Corvis was initially designed by Horse engineers seeking to produce a cheap, simple, and easy-to-maintain ‘Mech that could support its large formations of armor and infantry, or simply fill out open billets in garrison Clusters. In addition to an endo steel chassis and ferro-fibrous armor, the Corvis would use similar modular weapon ports as the Mercury, allowing it to swap weapons with more ease than traditional BattleMechs.
The Horses would trade the Corvis to the Clans Diamond Shark, Ghost Bear, and Snow Raven, making it a relatively common sight in the decades following its introduction in 2845. Even then, however, Clan leaders recognized the Corvis‘s shortcomings. Widely seen as too slow for its 40 tons, the Corvis could achieve a running speed of just 65 kps. Four Model KT Boosters jump jets gave the Corvis some degree of maneuverability, and its arm-mounted twin Medium Pulse Lasers and Ultra Autocannon/10 gave it a respectable punch, but its lack of speed made it easy prey for most Clan ‘Mechs of the era.
Perhaps the Corvis would have achieved some degree of notoriety had Clan Coyote not invented the Coyotl OmniMech in 2854. Nearly twice as fast and just as armored, the Coyotl boasted the OmniMech’s trademark modular pod system, allowing it to customize its weapons to suit almost any mission profile. The Coyotl’s B configuration in particular seemed a mocking critique of the Corvis.
It would take nearly half a century for Clan Hell’s Horses to integrate Omni pod technology into the Corvis. The so-called Omni-Corvis, introduced in 2920, represented a scientific leap for the Horses. Now 50 tons, the Omni-Corvis had a running speed of 86 kph and replaced its paired Medium Pulse Lasers with one Extended-Range Large Laser and ER Medium Laser. It also had two alternate configurations that specialized in close-in assault or long-range fire support.
Unfortunately, the Omni-Corvis would never get beyond the prototype stage. Clan Ghost Bear terminated development of the Omni-Covirs when they took control of Tokasha Mechworks in 2921. Worse, to punish the Horses for killing Khan Kilbourne Jorgensson during the Battle for Tokasha, the Bears released plans for the Omni-Corvis on the Chatterweb.
Matt Plog’s as-yet unseen redesign. Let’s hope it arrives in a Recognition Guide soon!
Further insult to the Horses would arrive nine years later when Clan Snow Raven revealed the Stormcrow OmniMech. Superior to every medium-class ‘Mech before it, the Stormcrow had the armor and firepower of heavier designs with the speed and maneuverability associated with ‘Mechs ten tons lighter. After the Stormcrow‘s introduction, all interest in the Corvis evaporated, leaving the Horses the sole operator of the venerable BattleMech.
With their focus on conventional armor and infantry and the shameful stigma associated with the Corvis, one could forgive the Horses for failing to iterate on the centuries-old ‘Mech. The only known variant, the Corvis 2, arrived in 3075 to make use of then-new weapons such as the Hyper Assault Gauss Rifle and Heavy Lasers. Adding a Targeting Computer to the design allowed it to wield these weapons with a degree of precision which keeps it dangerous even on the modern battlefield, but the core criticisms remain: the Corvis is too slow, too fragile, and simply too old.
Despite this, reports on Hell’s Horses activity reveal the Corvis is still serving in front-line formations. Whether this is due to desperation on the part of the Horses or genuine appreciation for one of the oldest Clan ‘Mechs still in service is anybody’s guess.
And as always, MechWarriors: Stay Syrupy.
Don’t keep the series going if you don’t have real contenders. The Corvis unquestionably in in the top 50% of forty ton mechs, I’d think it should land in the 65th to 80th percentile range. I get that 40 tonners are not a great weight class, but this is a good 40 ton mech.
I think this is one of the “Considered bad in-universe regardless of how useful it actually is.” category.
In my opinion, it’s the combination of loadout + size that does the Corvis in.
Ultra 10 + 2 MPL is decent, especially with Clantech, but the 4 tons of Ultra-10 ammo is excessive.
4/6/4 is at most a +2 TMM, which isn’t exactly a standout defensive measure. The relative toughness of the design (no XL engine, after all) is hampered by the fact that 40 tonners just aren’t really meant to be tanky. And trying to tank Clantech levels of damage gets even tougher when reaching its relatively modest ideal engagement range (around 6 to 8 hexes, give or take).
The Corvis strikes me as a ‘Mech for someone planning a prolonged close-defense, with fighting in a city or similar terrain. Unfortunately, that’s not how the Clanners do it, so for 1336 BV it doesn’t really fill a role that justifies that BV expenditure.
I like a good 4/6/4 myself (my ‘iconic lance’ at my table is a Panther, Enforcer, Grasshopper, and Victor) but the Corvis doesn’t feel like it’s really playing to that bracket’s strengths.
This. A good half dozen of the last 12 “Bad ‘Mechs” articles are just absolute garbage. This is just fluff and filler at this point.
:o
Will her last words be on her headstone? I sure hope not.
I don’t know, it’s not terrible:
Star Commander Danalith
Died as she lived: aiming for the balls
Hey Sean, heads up, your spelling of Jimigan/Jimmigan is inconsistent.
Hah, so it is. Fixed it!
There’s not One, but Two terrible Mechs in this story… Yeah, the Corvis IS a bad Mech, it truly is. The Balius however is God’s awful as well! Bravo Sir, a Two-for… The only thing going for the Corvis is the UltraAC10… That’s it… It’s shite besides that… The Balius is what happens when Clanners design Mechs while high-as-a-kite… It’s ugly, and it’s weaponry is terrible… I hate it, like all good Inner Sphere MechWarriors should… It’s one of the absolute worst…
I agree with you on the Corvis, I must contest your statement on the Balius. While it’s PRIME configuration is basically a obese Stormcrow, I still think that the Balius is one of the best Quadmechs out there. Do I think it could be better? ABSOLUTLY! But it’s a step in the right direction, and proves that Clan tech can make quads work. It also lead to one of the best quad designs out there (in my opinion), the Doom Courser.
Anyway, I can’t shame the Balius too much, since it’s what caught my wife’s eye and actually got her into battletech. (She loves animals, so seeing a mech that’s most definitely a horse piqued her curiosity)
I’d rather have a Stormcrow/Ryoken PRIME instead of the mech it’s based on! Surgically precise with two ER large laser and two ER medium lasers with the Clans’ targeting computer and all the double heat sinks it needs to spare!
Background story for this was hysterical — well done!
The “Anti-Assassin”
4/6/4 is a terrible idea, especially when 3 extra tons get you 5/8/5.
As mentioned, some ok lances can be organized of 4/6/4 brawlers – fine for city defense or guarding a mobile HQ.
Bodyguard for a Warhawk / Gargoyle / Nova Cat lance? Something that can handle light mechs flanking the biggies – that’s where I’d put this one.
my IS brain is looking at this and saying it’s decent. but i’ll be honest, i’m reading these for the extended history of the mech’s, and the Stories you guys make. i’m not saying stop, I’m saying maybe change the title from “Bad Mechs: ____” to, like “Mech of the Month” or something
Man Hell’s Horses science caste puts out loads of interesting designs for a clan that has been clawing it’s way up to nominal importance for ages.
I love the Corvis, despite its flaws and despite the fact that the Ryoken made it instantly obsolete. Fun ‘Mech with a decent loadout, even if it is slow.
As for this bit though:
“Superior to every medium-class ‘Mech before it, the Stormcrow had…”
I would argue that the Ryoken is superior to every medium-class before and since. It is the best ‘Mech in the game. :-P
The Corvis seems to me like a Clint that trades speed and mobility for armour and dubious gains in firepower. Its relatively slow speed limits it to accompanying armor and infantry formations— and the Horses have tanks that move faster— or acting as a fire magnet for other slow but more valuable units. Even by Inner Sphere standards it’s a medium-range unit that’s relatively easy to hit. And even though it’s as tough as can be for a 40-tonner, it’s still…40 tons. In an environment where weapons do more damage. So, maybe not an outright BAD ‘mech, but…iffy.
I think that for the rest of the series you should make a distinction between those ‘Mechs that are bad in-universe, and those that have a well-established reputation for mediocrity ( or worse) in tabletop play. I think you’ve already covered most of the latter though.
Is there a handy index for the Bad ‘Mech articles that we can quickly refer to so we can see which ones have already been covered?
At the bottom of the article there is the list of areas it was posted. Click on the Historical Section. It will pull up most if not all of them.
Just stop. This series is just getting sad. Half a dozen of the entries aren’t Bad mechs. Next you’re going to say the Warhammer or Marauder is a “BaD MeCh” just to keep it going. You could have just gone through all the 40, 60 and 80 ton IS mechs, as mathematically they are all bad in the system.
Actually, I would agree with the assertion that the Marauder is a Bad ‘Mech–the -3R, anyway. I don’t care about it’s badass looks or how awesome the lore says it is, it’s just not backed up by great in-game performance. Fire both PPCs ***standing still*** and you’re already at +4 heat. And the side torsos just can’t really take the punishment a 75-tonner ought to take. TR:3050 brought us another batch of questionable variants (-5M and -5S, anyone?). No, it’s not until Project Phoenix that we finally get a batch of variants that really justify the MAD’s reputation.
The Mad-3R for the time period it was published in succession wars it’s pretty good. It’s not super awesome great but well above average.
Ageed. The “bad” part of the MAD was in the lore rather than the design. It had a problem looking down because the cockpit is further back and the nose is actually the targeting system that blocks the pilot’s view downwards. But aside from the lore, it’s a pretty good mech design despite the requirements shoehorned onto it as a design that originated as an Unseen and the equipment needed to match the visuals.
here here.
Just to point out, the 2 mechs you mentioned, especially the Warhammer, has their own problems too. The MAD problem is in the lore (it has a problem looking and targeting down and has an exposed leg ball joint that is vulnerable to fire from below) while the WHM has a lot of weapons that are superfluous to it at the expense of armour. The follow on successor to it, the Thug, has a better weapons layout. This was due to the WHM’s origins as an Unseen and they had to make the weapons fit the image that they were given so a lot of the weapons were very “meh” at the expense of armour.
I always thought the Stormcrow/Ryoken had a unique look to it, with it’s cockpit in the lower central torso: it gives the mech a weird headless appearance! But you can’t deny it’s effectiveness in combat!
Whenever I run out of salt in my kitchen, I go to the replies on the Bad ‘Mech articles.
One thing about the Stormcrow/Ryoken that bothered me early on was it’s TINY and otherwise useless hands! And in the original illustrations it has above the low center torso cockpit what look like two SRM-6 missile launchers! How could it carry all that? And the missile had rods pointing out from each missile’s nose: kinetic armor-piercing, maybe?
Nexus & Jackrabbit
Hussar
Champion
Ost twins
Anvil
are all viable candidates for Bad ‘Mechs IMO.
Dart
Mangonel (Inner Sphere version)
Targe
I can keep going with this, still plenty of lousy ‘Mechs to profile
And if Sean really does run out of Bad ‘Mechs, he can always switch to Bad Vehicles
He’s already done the Dart!
No he hasn’t, maybe you’re thinking of the Fireball? There’s an entry for the Dart in the wiki though.
Goes to show why an index is needed…
The bad mechs have run dry.
A 40 tonner that dishes out as much or more damage as a IS Marauder in’t a real bad mech. It’s outdated, yeah. But it ain’t half bad.
The Charger and Fire Moth 2 are real bad mechs. The Corvis aint that bad…. It’s not even near that bal park.
Maybe you could shift to rubbisch omni variants.
Like the Mad Dog with two Gauss rifles. 12DS heat sinks, and 10 are waisted. Better replace one with a ER PPC, and some other usefull stuf,
Just a thought..
No we’re not done yet
Cossack
Hunchback IiC
Jenner IIC
Shadow Hawk–yes, let’s not forget the SHD, perhaps the ultimate Bad ‘Mech? (except for the Kurita variants)
That’s enough suggestions I’ve offered… enough to keep the series going for another half a year..
It’s slow, with jump jets, and a big gun…
It’s an Clan UrbanMech.
There’s already an UrbanMech IIC.
The Hunchback IIC? Definitely a bad Mech! Going into combat in a Mech with only enough ammo for only TWENTY SECONDS of firing time? Seriously???
With an armor factor of 96, anyone who allows a Hunchback IIC to live long enough to run out of ammunition gets what they deserve.
There’s a quote attributed to one of the early automotive pioneers, I think Ferdinand Porsche, which goes “The ideal race car crosses the finish line first, then immediately falls to pieces.” I guess by that logic the Hunchie Doozy can be considered the ideal ‘Mech-it exhausts its ammo, and then falls to pieces.
Meanwhile, on topic, the Corvis is another 4/6 medium trooper, so all my general comments on the Blackjack a couple months ago apply-it’s both slow and weak, which is obviously a bad combo. The Corvis doesn’t do itself any favors with a poor loadout. You can never go wrong with Clan medium pulses, but the autocannon… on its own merits, the Clan Ultra 10 isn’t a bad gun, but it’s not amazing the way so many other Clan weapons are. Light units don’t have the tonnage for autocannons, and the Corvis compounds this error with a ludicrously oversized ammo bin. Yes, it lets it provide fire support for a prolonged period, but expecting a 4/6 40-tonner to last 20 rounds against anything warranting double taps on the autocannon blows right past optimism to land in outright delusion. Yes, the standard engine helps with the dismal survivibility a bit, but arm-mounting all the guns means blowing out the side torsos leaves it disarmed (in every sense) anyway, and still too slow to escape anything it might conceivably be facing.
I suppose, on the balance, the Corvis is kind of the Clan version of the Sherman tank-a good infantry support platform that is passable fighting its peers, but horribly outclassed by heavier units. And, like the Sherman, the oversized ammo bin in the right arm makes it prone to violently exploding and killing its crew. Unfortunately, BattleTech is, as the box reminds us, a game of armored combat, so I can’t give the Corvis a pass like I do the M4.
To fix it, first thing is to chuck the overweight autocannon in the trash. Replace it with a large and medium pulse laser, the latter head-mounted so you can take advantage of your standard engine, two heat sinks to manage the laser heat, and a pair of MGs with a half-ton of ammo so your infantry support ‘Mech can properly engage infantry. With the remaining tonnage, push the movement to 5/8/5.