image courtesy of blainepardoe.wordpress.com
As perhaps the second longest running author in the BattleTech universe, Blaine Lee Pardoe knows more about BattleTech than I ever will. And as a celebrated author (at least certainly celebrated around here, and according to his blog celebrated in a bunch of other places too) he’s also come across some of the seedier aspects of the BattleTech universe – fan fiction.
He’ll be the first to admit that some fanfic is good, and the good stuff will find its way to BattleCorps, and maybe even one day become a published novel. But the vast majority of fanfic that crosses his inbox brings Pardoe, in his own words, “one step closer to that aneurysm that I know is coming.”
As a tribute to the many years of awful fanfic, Pardoe has created the ultimate BattleTech fan fiction
As a tribute to the many years of awful fanfic, Pardoe has created the ultimate, the alpha and omega, the supreme example of BattleTech fan fiction, titled Operation Total Freakin’ Awesomeness. It is his greatest literary work to date, and quite possibly the greatest literary work of all time.
I won’t go into too many details and spoil it for you, however as a teaser, Operation Total Freakin’ Awesomeness follows Lieutenant Cody Whiplash Brightstar – callsign Tight-Testicles – as he battles Star Commander Shamalamadingdong – a warrior of Clan Tin Sloth – for control of the Lyran planet Urban. Classic Inner Sphere versus Clan hijinx ensue.
I should also note that Mr. Pardoe has gone to great lengths to ensure that his greatest story doesn’t land him in legal troubles (as is so often the case with BattleTech) – the story is littered with trademark and copyright symbols, just in case people got any smart ideas on lifting his stuff.
With this latest short fiction sure to become canon, I eagerly await the creation of the Clan Tin Sloth emblem, for which I will pay real c-bills to put on a t-shirt and wear with pride. To those artists reading this post, I implore you to post your links in the comments section below.
So much win.
I appreciate your kind words. It scares me now that I might be remembered for this.
Do not fear, for your tale will be the beginning of Clan Tin Sloth’s Rememberance!
Seyla! Remind me to tell you how they save their genes. Hint, it involves pornography, a plastic cup, and a small filthy room. Grin.
Blaine, I am afraid you are correct. I hope this will go down in the books alongside Gausszilla.
I don’t read or write fan fiction, but there was an interesting discussion on NPR about it the other day.
I might have heard it. I’ll look it up.