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'''''Civilian UrbanMech Patrol and Protection Service''''', more frequently known by its acronym '''''C.U.P.P.S.''''', was a [[thirty-first-century]] [[Federated Suns]]-produced Taurian police force mockumentary [[holovid]] series that was unexpectedly popular in the [[Taurian Concordat]].<ref name=S14>''Shrapnel #14'',:"C.U.P.P.S.: Civilian UrbanMech Patrol and Protection Service"</ref><ref name=S18>''Shrapnel #18'',:"C.U.P.P.S. 2: Kowalczyk Gets an Upgrade"</ref> ==Overview== Produced by the [[Federated Broadcasting Corporation]], ''C.U.P.P.S.'' is one of a long line of [[Ministry of Information, Intelligence, and Operations]]-funded anti-Taurian propaganda works intended for [[Pleiades Cluster]] audiences to reinforce stereotypes that made the Taurians look like violent and stupid backwater bumpkins in comparison to the enlightened and cultured Federated Suns. While numerous Federated Suns entertainment companies produced these type of shows, in part because MIIO funding made them instantly profitable, the results were frequently poorly made and low quality cash-grabs that generally barely lasted a year.<ref name=S14/> Its first episode broadcast in [[3072]], on the surface ''C.U.P.P.S.'' was little different and was only moderately successful when released on the Pleiades worlds of [[Maia]], [[Merope]] and [[Electra]]. However when episodes were smuggled into the Concordat the show unexpectedly became a huge hit among the very people it was intended to lampoon, though questions remain if they are laughing at or with the show.<ref name=S14/> A mockumentary of police procedurals, ''C.U.P.P.S.'' was supposedly based on a real ''[[UrbanMech]]'' using peacekeeper force on the Concordat capital of Samantha on [[Taurus]] that included the usual zany cast of police archetypes that helped reinforce the cliché primative wild west-style atmosphere that MIIO implied was the whole of the Concordat even on cosmopolitan Taurus. Episodes of ''C.U.P.P.S.'' often also included commercials for ''[[Crazy Eddie's Used UrbanMech Emporium]]'' which reportedly sold decidedly dodgy low quality ''UrbanMech''s to everybody and anybody, further reinforcing the lawless and backwards Concordat stereotype.<ref name=S14/><ref name=S18/> By the seventh season in [[3079]], rating for ''C.U.P.P.S'' were starting to decline as the show's writers had begun to run out of both good story ideas and jokes. The situation was further worsened by the open warfare between the Taurian Concordat and the Federated Suns during the escalating [[Word of Blake]] [[Jihad]], not to mention FBS's inexplicable decision to ignore the destruction of Samantha that many Taurians believed was due to a Federated Suns sneak attack.<ref name=S18/> The biggest risk to the show's continuation was the increasing financial cost of the series, its original decision to use actual ''UrbanMech''s lending it realism though resulted in a average of three being wrecked per episode. Though virtually all could be salvaged and repaired, the cost of parts to do so drove up the cost per episode to above two million [[Pound]]s by 3079. The increasing need for even the humble ''UrbanMech'' during the height of the Jihad and the escalating costs led FBS to turn toward computer graphics instead of real 'Mechs, significantly lowering both costs and the production value of the show, though it did allow even more implausible plots to occur.<ref name=S18/> ===Cast=== :* [[Sergeant]] Jackson Kowalczyk - As a child Kowalczyk dreamt of becoming a [[MechWarrior (pilot)|MechWarrior]] but failed the entrance exam for the [[École Militaire]], opting to serve out his mandatory service in the [[Taurian Defense Force]] by accepting a position in C.U.P.P.S. in the belief piloting even an ''UrbanMech'' will improve his chances "next time". Taking his job far too seriously, Kowalczyk is over eager and unskilled in equal measure, unwittingly causing excessive property damage while performing his duty.<ref name=S14/><ref name=S18/> :* [[Captain]] Edward Block - The cliché angry police commander, Block spends most of his time exasperatingly yelling "Kowalczyk!!" as his Sergeant uses his 'Mech in roles for which it is grossly ill-suited.<ref name=S14/><ref name=S18/> :* [[Subaltern]] Sam Butterfinger - Slovenly and ineffective member of C.U.P.P.S. who attempts to provide assistance to Kowalczyk when he's out of his depth.<ref name=S14/><ref name=S18/> :* Sergeant Hutchinson - Considered the best officer in ''C.U.P.P.S.'', the actually effective Hutchinson's strict adherence to the law causing political difficulties results in Block having to sideline him in favor of Kowalczyk.<ref name=S18/> :* Diaz - Meanspirited member of ''C.U.P.P.S.'' who is quick to start betting pools on Kowalczyk's odds of having walk home after destroying his ''UrbanMech'' during a patrol.<ref name=S18/> :* Dottie - ''C.U.P.P.S.'' dispatch agent with a cliché mile-high orange perm, referring to everybody as darlin' or Pumpkin between chewing gum and painting her nails.<ref name=S18/> ===Episodes=== :* Season 1, Episode 1 "Kowalczyk" : The pilot of ''C.U.P.P.S.'' introduces the basic concept and characters, as Kowalczyk when being outrun by joyriding teenagers causes extensive property damage firing his [[Autocannon]] at their fleeing [[Cyclops Hurricane]], before he deftly coaxes an elderly grandmother's kitten from a tree using his [[Small Laser]] as a laser pointer before crashing into a car when trying to race after the now frightened feline.<ref name=S14/> :* Season 8, Episode 13 "Kowalczyk on the LAM" : An escalating [[Spazz]] crisis in Samantha sees the city's Mayor provide ''C.U.P.P.S.'' with an experimental prototype UM-L99 ''UrbanMech'' [[Land-Air 'Mech]] to clean-up the streets, but the fact Hutchinson arrested the Mayor's teenage son for dealing Spazz means its given to Kowalczyk. Convinced he doesn't need to read the manual for the massively complex LAM, Kowalczyk responds to an anonymous tip-off from a rival Spazz dealer causing horrendous damage to both the prototype and the city's docks while arresting the Mayor's other twelve year old son.<ref name=S18/> ==Notes== * The UM-L99 ''UrbanMech LAM'' is a reference to the non-existent 'Mech of the same name in the [[Random Allocation Tables]] of the non-canonical ''[[Third League Turning Points: Free Taiw...St. Ives]]'' 2012 [[:Category:April Fools Products|April Fools]] publication. ==References== <references/> ==Bibliography== * [[Shrapnel (magazine)/Issue 14|''Shrapnel Issue 14'']] * [[Shrapnel (magazine)/Issue 18|''Shrapnel Issue 18'']] [[Category:In-Universe Shows and Movies|Civilian UrbanMech Patrol and Protection Service]]

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