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User:ReinhardtSteiner

A man once said that I was the Lyran Commonwealth, and that the King and the land were one. He was probably right, because I'm the one that adds panache and charm to the mix. It don't mean butt if it ain't got that jut, after all.

So, since I think that about sums it up, without further ado, I might as well add REINHARDT STEINER FACTS:

Reinhardt Steiner once destroyed an entire Cluster, then punched the destroyed Mechs back in to working order, forcing their pilots to attack him again because his "kill frenzy had not gone down." (Do not mistake his kindness for weakness, though. He won the second time, too).

Reinhardt Steiner can bench-press a DropShip and once bicycle kicked the recharge station at Dieron's nadir jump point into the sun.

While he is the titular leader of the Grand Duchy of Furillo, Reinhardt Steiner is also a man of the people. He held free elections for the executive position of Chancellor, which was first won by John Henry Eden, a sentient AI occupying a supercomputer. While Reinhardt was forced to destroy him after Eden unveiled his plan for genocide, everyone agreed they missed his reassuring radio broadcasts.

Reinhardt's brother, Karl, built a perpetual motion machine when they were kids. Reinhardt didn't understand the purpose because he already WAS a perpetual motion machine.

The GDFS Reinhardt Steiner once took a side-job as the stunt double for the World Devastator from Star Trek.

Reinhardt Steiner was going to have a television show made about him. Production fell through when, despite being only five minutes long, it would have been the most violent show on television. His character eventually became Brock Samson from the Venture Brothers.

Reinhardt Steiner beat Street Fighter IV on one quarter, playing as Dan. When Seth tried to piledrive him, he somehow made Dan reverse the hold and piledrive Seth straight to the ninth circle of Hell.

Whenever Karl had an invention, Reinhardt would test it for safety. He was the first man to use a submarine, electric guitar, and time machine (which allowed the other two).

Reinhardt Steiner tracked down that guy who wrote "Who Let The Dogs Out" and beat him within an inch of his life, leaving that single inch because The Hangover used that song in a joke.

Contrary to popular history, Reinhardt Steiner was the first BattleMech. The Mackie was just a poor imitation. This explains the MCK-6S's large laser placement, though not its diminutive size.

Reinhardt Steiner was named after legendary jazz musician and soda pitchman Django Reinhardt, who was named after pan-temporal fighting machine Reinhardt Steiner.

Reinhardt Steiner was in a modern physics class, and tossed his textbook in disgust. It punched a hole in space-time, where it landed in a janitor's closet. The janitors were named Kearny and Fuchida.

Urban legends say that the Ares Conventions have an article in their WMD section forbidding Reinhardt Steiner from throwing uppercuts. This is false; the only articles that Reinhardt Steiner is compelled to follow are in the Bro Code.

Reinhardt Steiner is normally a calm man, but he hates domestic macro. It angers him so much that he carved the entire state of Colorado out of the ground with his HNPPCvision and hurled it in to the sun.

When his brother Karl received his first PhD, he began work on his first major research project. With Reinhardt's help, the two of them collaborated to write the most significant physics text ever: What Happens When You Turn a Black Hole Inside Out With Your Right Hook.

When Reinhardt Steiner plays EarthBound, everything you can name is named "Reinhardt Steiner." Even the dog and the food. This is despite the game only giving you five letters.

Slam dunking was banned in NCAA games from the late 60s until the mid 70s. Most people attribute the ban to the future Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's dominance at the collegiate level. The truth is that Reinhardt Steiner accidentally performed a chaos dunk when throwing away a scrap of paper. This chaos dunk rippled back in time to the year 1965 and managed to sink an aircraft carrier.

FACT: While Reinhardt Steiner is normally polite and well-mannered, when someone is unfairly monopolizing something, he shouts so hard that whatever the object is forced to engage in asexual reproduction.

Reinhardt Steiner sneezes with such power that it splits monopolies, and stable stock options double in value, split, and double again.

Reinhardt Steiner never averages anything. Ever.

The Star League has humbly suggested that Reinhardt Steiner fight the Succession Wars against himself. So far, he has, much to the relief of everyone else.

Hulkamania is named after Reinhardt Steiner.